Lines - a kind of free-writing

Trouble will follow a redneck bitch like vultures follow a hawk. She will pick your bones and leave little for the varmints.

Harry kept a box of shells buried in the sock drawer with his Trojans. His rifle was in a case in the corner. He might have to move faster to lock and load than his old bones could manage, but he took comfort in the knowledge that it was there.

This town has more people per capita with no visible means of support than any place I’ve ever seen. They call them trust fund babies, but I’m not exactly sure about that. I suspect that most of them are on SSI. We also have more massage therapists than anywhere in the world. That may account for the number of people out of work. Massage is a way of life around here. People get a massage like most folks smoke a cigarette. I don’t go for that myself. I don’t like being touched, especially by a stranger. If a woman is going to touch my body, I would prefer that she have something else in mind.

God works in strange ways. If He asks you a question, the easy answer will never be the correct one. Think carefully. Always go with the obscure. He will reward you for not choosing the obvious. He will also reward you for not asking Him any questions of your own. God stifles curiosity. He’s tricky that way.

Trouble has blue eyes and blonde hair. She flirts from behind a bar, diner counter, or teller window. She has also been known to work in the Post Office. Here’s a piece of good advice: Always keep that counter between you.

Trouble will draw on her cigarette while holding your gaze with her eyes. The second hand smoke will get you in the end.

Cool is the death of creativity. One shouldn’t try to be radical. It is far better to have genuine ideas that are so unique that other people find them radical. The intentional iconoclast is a bore. He always lets others dictate his behavior.

It was 2 a.m. in an organic food store in Kent, Ohio. McNeilley was clever. He had waited until all the assholes were done and gone, before reading his poetry. Those who remained were waiting just to hear him. He had their full attention and he did not disappoint. I cried when I got the email that he had died. Amy stood behind me with her hands on my heaving shoulders. Death is never unexpected. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If it seems like a shock, it’s because it is a slap in the face that wakes you back to reality. So many of my friends are gone now, fine poets all. Vonnegut put it best, “How did I get so old?”

Good bye and good luck. And if I take the trouble to tell you that, you can be sure I mean it.

Roosters rule the roost as Stutzman's animal refuge copes

The animal refuge at Stutzman’s Nursery on the northern edge of town is fast becoming a local tourist attraction. It is also about to burst at the seams.

Nick Ormes is the main volunteer caretaker of the animals at the refuge. For Ormes, who grew up with a small backyard flock of chickens in a farming area of Springfield and spends hours every day just feeding the animals, it’s an act of love. He and a crew of 10 other volunteers care for such exotic animals as llamas, emus, iguanas and peacocks, as well as such commonplace farm animals as horses, pigs, and a variety of poultry. He has a hard time saying no to anyone who wants to drop off an animal they no longer can care for, even roosters.

“We are rooster heavy these days,” he said in a recent interview. “We can’t take anymore.”

Stutzman’s flock of chickens has grown to around 60, due in part to the many backyard flocks in Yellow Springs. When people buy chicks they usually want pullets, as hens less than one-year old are called. But inevitably some of them turn out to be cockerels or young roosters. If you live in town, when the cock crows, he usually goes. But the question is “Where?”

According to Ormes, people have, without asking permission, dropped off unwanted chickens at privately owned farms. Others have released them in the wild. Recently, a local farmer found a box full of chickens that had been left in his driveway, Ormes said. He was able to save some, but not all of them. They also drop them at the entrance to Stutzman’s.

“I wish they wouldn’t do that. It would be kinder to butcher them,” he said. “If they are not properly cared for, they fall prey to dogs, foxes, coyotes, hawks, or raccoons.”

Ormes should know; he is constantly battling raccoons that are especially resourceful when it comes to finding ways to break into his chicken coops. At Stutzman’s watchdogs and network of alert roosters, peacocks, and Tom turkeys, help, but are not fool-proof.

Back in June a woman brought in a rooster that her dog had grabbed at Ellis Park. The bird had lost a few feathers in the attack, but Ormes was able to nurse it back to health. “Ellis,” as they named him, can now be found strutting proudly along the paths at the nursery.

Recently, Ormes and volunteer Dawnelle Ki were called upon to rescue a pair of chickens that had apparently been turned loose in the park. A woman had come in to ask for some feed and a cage, hoping to catch them herself. Her dog had attacked one of them, but it had escaped. When she failed locate them, Ormes and Ki undertook the task.

“It was just like on TV,” Ormes said. “When we first got there, the trail had gone cold. We asked people in the park if they had seen any chickens, but no one had. Finally, we saw a trail of white feathers and followed it to some bushes.”

Soon their hungry quarry emerged, lured by the shelled corn Ormes and Ki had spread on the ground.

“They came over and let us pick them up,” Ki said. “They had obviously been someone’s pets, because they were real tame.”

Cathy Phillips, whose daughter Nadia Kasparek kept four chickens as pets, felt she could no longer protect them, after one was killed by a raccoon and another one was injured. She found someone in town with a more secure coop, who was willing to care for them. Every now-and-then he gives her a dozen eggs and Nadia is free to visit her chickens whenever she likes.

Due to a change in her working hours, another former chicken owner, who asked to remain anonymous, could no longer care for the flock of six she had had for three years. According to Ormes, she did the right thing by finding them a home with another chicken-lover, in town.

“There are humane alternatives to bringing them to Stutzman’s,” he said.

According to Gary Stutzman, owner of the nursery, animals started to arrive at the nursery shortly after he moved it to its current location in 1995. It started with the donation of a goat that had been raised as a 4-H project. Stutzman, who thought it would be nice for visitors to have something to look at while they shopped, traded the goat for some peacocks and turkeys. Soon after that, someone asked him to take in a pot-bellied pig. He later bought some chickens and ducks, but hasn’t made anymore purchases in five years.

“I never really decided to have an animal refuge,” he said in a recent interview. “It just happened. In the beginning it wasn’t anymore work to have a few more. It was a hobby – something for the kids.”

These days it is a lot of work and it takes a lot of money.

“With the downturn in the economy, we have to be cautious about taking on any extra expense,” Stutzman said. “Recently, I had to pass on a pot-bellied pig, because it would have required me to build a new enclosure. I hate to turn anybody away, but lately roosters have become a real problem. They are more work.”

In order to keep the refuge afloat and formalize it as a separate operation from the nursery, Ormes has been working on getting it official nonprofit status. In the meantime, he has set up a donor directed fund with the Greene County Community Foundation, where donations can be made by specifying that they should to go to the “Ranch Menagerie Animal Sanctuary” as he is now calling the refuge. Fore more information about donations, or to find out about becoming a volunteer, Ormes can be reached at (937) 231-1046.

(This article appeared in the October 4, 2007 Yellow Springs News along with the story about The Chickens of Yellow Springs that can be accessed from the links in the column on the right."

The "Summer of Love," Corner Cone style

This year marks the 40th anniversary of the “summer of love,” that mass migration to San Francisco of young people with flowers in their hair. Although it didn’t last very long, it inspired songs and lore, and that eternal question, “Where were you during the summer of love?”

To celebrate the anniversary and continue its short tradition of goofy events, the Corner Cone will be holding wedding ceremonies on Saturday, June 23, for those who want either to get married for the first time, or to renew their marriage vows. Performing the ceremonies on the deck, or under an arch in a corner of the patio, will be part owner Bob Swaney and his friend George Steberel, both ordained ministers in the Universal Life Church, which has its international headquarters in Modesto, California.

“The nice thing about owning this place is I can think of something crazy and just do it,” Swaney said in a recent interview. “There are no committees involved.”

Swaney, who got his ordination certificate online, said he got the idea for the weddings about a month ago. According to him, he is licensed by the State of Ohio to perform marriages.
“The license cost me 10 bucks,” he said.

Ceremonies will start at 2:00 p.m. and run until there are no more vow-takers. He is hoping that participants will arrive with flowers in their hair.

Those who are planning on being married for the first time will be required to present a valid marriage license. According to the Greene County Website, applicants must be over the age of 18 years to apply without parental consent. There is no waiting period. The fee is $45.00. Applications are made at the Probate Court, 8:00 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. Monday – Friday.

Among those who intend to renew their vows at the Corner Cone are Marie Hertzler and Brian Maughan, who were just married last September, after moving to Yellow Springs in August, so Hertzler could take a teaching position at Wright State.

According to Maughan, a sculptor, he was actually living in San Francisco during the summer of 1967. However, he said, he was not part of the wave of transients.

Locals Paula and Jerry Womacks were in San Francisco during the 60s, but in a recent interview Jerry said he couldn’t remember if they were actually there during the summer of love.

“If you can remember where you were, you probably weren’t there,” Womacks said.

Other off-beat events that Swaney has instituted at the Corner Cone are the Thoughtful Jesters on Wednesday nights and Thursday night “no-mic” nights. Last summer he held a contest to rename the business from the Dairy Bar. For Halloween there were free s'mores and ice cream, and photos of the kids in their costumes. Swaney, who with his wife Susan Rogers-Swaney, and their partner and business manager, Jennifer Foley, bought the building last year, would like villagers to think of the patios at the Corner Cone as “community space,” he said, to be used for public meetings or to set up information tables.

Some serious changes have taken place both on the menu and in the infrastructure since Swaney took over. Vanilla and chocolate soft ice cream flavors have been expanded to 10, along with an assortment of shakes and other drinks. With the addition of a grill, they are now serving burgers, hotdogs, fries, grilled fish, steamed veggies and garden burgers.

The kitchen is completely new as are the patios on both the north and south side of the building. Tables, comfortable chairs, umbrellas, and even a fire-pit are among the creature comforts that have been added to the outdoor dining areas.

What’s next for the Corner Cone? Bike rentals will be starting soon. And the possibility of weekend brunch looms on the horizon. Bagels anyone?

As for more season-themed activities, “How about the ‘Fall of Disappointed Dreams,’ or the ‘Winter of Discontent,’” Swaney said.

More Dead in Ohio (a nod to Neil Young)

Click here to learn about Ohioans killed in Iraq.

Things I swore I'd never do

Drive to Florida

Start my own business

Write for a deadline

Chickens in Winter

Rocky, Pee Wee, and Whitey get a jump on spring.

On Molting in Winter

“Heaven have mercy on us all - Presbyterians and Pagans alike –
for we are all somehow dreadfully cracked about the head, and
sadly need mending.” – Herman Melville – Moby Dick

I sit by the fire at night and wonder
about my friends in the coop.
Rocky, the barred rock, is on the molt
and Pee Wee, the little red hen,
is showing signs.

Will the flock huddle
and warm them despite
pecking order protocol?
I suspect they will,
for they are neither Republicans
nor Democrats,
Presbyterians nor Pagans.

For God's sake, tell them no!

Bush administration seeks $245B for wars AP - 2/2/07

WASHINGTON - The Bush administration will ask for another $100 billion for military and diplomatic operations in Iraq and Afghanistan this year and seek $145 billion for 2008, a senior administration official said Friday.

The rural life

(for Jim Harrison)

Well, I have fed the chickens,
and more than that.
I’ve cleaned the coop
and brought them warm
water on wintry days.
Come summer
I've carried them under my arm
to the neighbor’s place
to pick bugs from his yard,
while we sat on his porch
and shared cold beer
and long stories.

Stop the war! - Out now!