Saturday, February 21, 2009

My teeth chatter

How's this
for modern dentistry?
Stem cells injected
into the gums,
tooth buds that grew
into teeth
that learned to talk
at the age of two.

They keep me up at night
like girls
at a sleepover.
Titter, titter, titter
all night long.

And complain..?
Talk about a toothache...
One doesn't like hot,
another hates cold.
Tylenol, ibuprophin, aspirin
don't do a thing.

Harry, I'm hungry,
left bottom molar says.
Harry, I'm thirsty,
right upper canine begs.
No soda pop! no candy!
the wisdom teeth advise.

I thought this would be
better than dentures,
better than implants,
better than root canals.

But I'm headed back
to the dentist.
It's time
to get them pulled.
Last night they told Mona,
they didn't like her curry.
Too spicy, one said.
Too mild, another chimed in.
Make up your mind, Harry,
Mona complained.

I have a small wooden box.
When they are removed
I will keep them there.
I'll call it my chatterbox.
If ever I want to be reminded
that I should have listened
to my parents,
should have brushed
three times a day
and flossed after every meal,
I will crack open the lid and listen
to my teeth complain.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Where's Walter?

His car was spotted on Dayton Street. Wait a minute, isn't that the laundromat across the street?

There he is!


Been there!


Thursday, February 05, 2009

Existentialist Dreaming

When I told Mona that my dreams seem to be broken lately, she accused me of malingering.

“Don’t start acting crazy on me, Harry.” she said. “It’s not going to work.”

“Why does it always have to be about you?” I replied.

“Of course it’s not about me. It can’t be. You never dream about me.”

“Please, just listen for once,” I begged. “Last night I dreamed I went out in the snow to feed the chickens. When I opened the door to the coop, there was another door inside. It wasn’t connected to anything, like a floating plane, half in – half out. In the dream I became confused. I thought to myself, this isn’t right. It defies the laws of physics. But then I realized I was only dreaming. I told myself to get rid of the door and it vaporized. But I wasn’t satisfied. The dream is spoiled for me now, I thought. So I woke up and told myself, you have to remember this, so you can tell Mona about it in the morning. This isn’t the only one I have had like that. There have been others, but I can’t remember them. You know me, I hardly ever remember my dreams. But I know this, remember them or not, they have been unsatisfactory, lately. I don’t know what to do. My dreams are broken.”

“So, you are telling me that your dreams are broken,” she huffed. “This just proves that you don’t love me anymore. You’re so damn selfish.”

Whenever she says this, and she says it a lot, I always scoff at the idea of it. But I am coming to think there may be something to it. So I have resolved to love her more. Maybe she’s right. As absurd as it may seem, there may be a link between these fragmented dreams and the way I go through life.

“I don’t mean ‘broken dreams’ like in some sappy love song,” I said. “I mean my dreams, my actual night time dreams, aren’t working right. Like a broken television, or when the projectionist gets the reels mixed up in the movie theater, things are happening out of context.”

“You don’t love me as much as I love you,” she said.

This is probably true. I don’t love her has much as she wants me to, but I love her enough for me. Is there something wrong with me? Do other people think like this? I don’t like talking about our relationship all the time, like she does. I think it should just happen, without any special engineering. But I have to admit, when I just let it happen, there is an element of selfishness that seeps in from my end. I’m always trying to impose my will on her. That’s okay, it never works anyway.

“I would take a bullet for you,” I said. “I would jump in front of a train to protect you.”

“Really?” she cooed and hugged me.

This always works. Sometimes I feel guilty about using it. But I mean it. I would make that choice. I would give up my life for her. There are a million reasons and they have little to do with love.

“If I were drowning, would you save me?” she asked.

“Of course I would.”

“If I was drowning and one of your children was drowning at the same time, who would you save?

“Not a problem. Both my kids can swim.”

“Don’t try to wiggle out of this,” she said. “If you won the 10 million dollar lottery this week, how much would you give me?”

“I’d give it all to you,” I said.

“That’s better.”

“But what about my dreams?” I asked.

“Just love me more and everything will be alright,” she said.

Lottery by Camper Van Beethoven


in dreams

She was dressing for work.
I was just laying there
watching, listening
to her early morning
bird song.

"I dreamed again
last night," she said.

"Another bad dream?"
I asked.

"No. You were in it
again. So many times
you've been in my dreams.
Do you dream about me?"

"Sometimes," I lied,
since I never dream.

"How do I look?"
she was curious.

"I can't remember,"
I lied some more.
"How do I look
in your dreams?"
I asked.

"Younger," she said.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Tracks in the snow

The wide path is mine, from the steps leading down from my deck to the entrance to Chicken Land. I trek through the snow daily to bring the girls food and water. But those other tracks. They were made last night or early this morning. They go from under my deck to the fence around the chicken run, then stitch a crazy quilt through the snow in the yard. Could it have been Allen Street Al? Did he see his shadow and go back into that huge hole he has dug under my deck? Stay tuned! I will be looking for him early tomorrow morning, camera in hand.

Ice art photos by Susan Gartner


Susan Gartner found this ice sculpture in the yard of Moya Shea's house on High Street, near the corner of Dayton.